Claudia, Australian, 18, Scorpio. I prefer fictional characters to most real people; hense i have a limited social life, and by limited i mean non existant.
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twerking4jesusinpurgatory:

mira-of-sassgard:

backinthe67impala:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.



You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I fucking love this website

I think we just found Dexter’s blog, guys.

ok but why is there a duck

total-destiel-fangirl:

avengersonna:

soulslookingforhome:

blingblingpuppysaur:

gayest-person-you-know:

I’m confused,could someone please explain what the letters stand for?

Those letters all stand for something and pretty much sums up a whole personality, to put it in simple terms. You can read profiles about the different types here, and you can take the test here^^

INFJ IS SO FUCKING TINY WTF

Entp

INTP

ISTP

se4h4ven:

l-onelyhearted:

mattrenez:

igotaloveshekeepsmewaiting:

melodiesintheair:

jarpadd:

I suggest all females watch this. 

*i suggest all humans watch this.

THIS SHOULD BE REQUIRED WATCHING FOR ALL HUMANS

I’m a 17 year old white guy living in middle class America. I’ve never exactly been a supporter of feminism because that kind of thing has never really affected me personally. I don’t notice it and I don’t care about it. But in nine minutes this video has made what is truly a serious problem extremely apparent. Those “why I need feminism” posts or those slut-shaming or rape culture campaigns never convince me of anything. But this video actually did I think.

tl;dr This video kicks ass, just watch it.

Amazing

This is the most amazing thing I’ve seen all year and every person should see this

fallontonight:

- Jimmy Fallon’s Monologue; July 31, 2014

[ Part 1 / Part 2 ]

chrihyonce:

nickelodeon:

David Beckham and his sons get GOLD slimed after he accepts the 2014 KCS GOLDEN blimp!

i bet this is the color of his sperm.

wo-nderland:

JAMES FRANCO POSTED THIS AND I CANT STOP LAUGHING OH MY GOD

blackorchid2007:

THIS IS THE ONLY WOMAN WHO CAN STAND NEXT TO BEYONCE AND STILL BE THE MOST FABULOUS PERSON IN THE ROOM

humorous-blog:

i feel safe knowing that he is a guardian of our galaxy

smaug-official:

naivepanda:

Thank the heavens

image

For fucking

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Orlando Bloom

image

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caseyanthonyofficial:

When your girlfriend tries to hold your hand before marriage

image

R+L=J?

for-convenience:

smoakinarrowblog:

This is look on a man’s face when he is standing in the front of the love of his life!

No, I’m sorry, you’re wrong.  It’s actually the look of a man looking at his totally platonic best buddy.